Dave Christiansen is the founder and managing editor of
TechDarkSide.com. He manages projects for a Fortune 100 financial services company and writes and talks about project management. He can be reached at email@example.com.
I’m kind of a fat guy. Anybody who’s met me will confirm this, and I’m not really embarrassed about it. I am worried about not having a nice long life, or being healthy enough to wakeboard, skateboard, and play basketball. Right now I’m too heavy to do any of those things without a pretty significant risk of injuring myself. If I could just get down about thirty pounds I’d be all right.
So, here it is – the Tech Dark Side Agile Diet. Inspired by the Agile Manifesto and Principles of Agile Software, I’m sure it will soon supplant the South Beach Diet (or whatever the latest trend diet is) as the hippest diet around. It’s a simple diet that anyone can do, except me, apparently. I’m still fat, even though I’ve written two whole paragraphs about dieting! Here are the main features:
Use Pair Dining – Never eat alone! Share your food with your spouse, your date, your kids. Eat off the same plate. When you go to a restaurant, order one entree for both of you.
Prioritize Your Food and Eat the Best Stuff First – If you’re going to have ice cream tonight, eat it before dinner, not after it. Don’t try to squeeze dessert in at the end of the meal, when you’re already full and don’t really have room for it.
Talk While You Eat – Individuals and interactions are more important than clearing your plate! Would it really kill you if dinner took an hour because you were learning more about your kids?
Check Your Weight Frequently and Measure Your Velocity – Keep a chart of your weight. Measure it daily if you need to. Where’s it going, up or down? That’s your velocity. How long is it going to take to lose thirty pounds at this rate?
Reflect on Your Progress – Talk about what you’ve eaten with your family. What was good? What wasn’t so good? What simple tweaks to your lifestyle could you make that would improve your health?
Work on Sustainable Healthiness – I could lose thirty pounds really fast if I spent four hours at the gym every day, but I’d lose my wife and kids and then I’d gain it all back and then some. Sustainable healthiness comes from a healthy lifestyle that you enjoy. Find an exercise and a nutritional plan that makes you feel HAPPY and SATISFIED. It’s easiest to keep doing things you enjoy.
Pay Attention to Epicurial Excellence – Eat good food. Don’t settle for crap. Most people can’t cook very well. Learn to cook and try new stuff.
Don’t Eat Stuff You Don’t Want Just Because It Comes With Stuff You Do – I love Hardee’s Bacon Cheeseburgers. Mmm. It makes me salivate just thinking about it. One bacon cheeseburger every now and then isn’t going to make you fat, but throw in some curly fries and chocolate milkshake and BAM! – you’re buying new pants every four months and not because you wore them out. Skip the fries, the sodas, the milkshakes. Don’t let them supersize you or talk you into a combo meal just because it makes your drink practically free.
It’s Better To Waste Your Food than to Feed Your Waist Try using a smaller plate if you feel compelled to eat everything in front of you. If it makes yo feel bad to throw food away, start a compost heap and a garden. There, now you don’t have to feel guilty.
Well, all this talk about food has made me hungry. I wonder if there’s any ice cream in the freezer?